3 Habits I always wanted to change

....watch your habits, for they become character.

watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

I wish I would have not been so lazy, I wish I could be more disciplined, I wish I could have been less temperamental, I wish I should not have been a compulsive talker, I wish.....

How many times do we think that  our life would be so different if we can somehow change ourselves. But most of time end up in frustration in this process. What we are & how we behave are a result of our habits. The interesting thing is that the habits are so subtle that we may not even realize that we possess them.

This is because the habits are formed slowly & gradually over a period of time & get so ingrained in our lives that we are unable to detect them.

Luckily I was able to introspect & find certain habits about myself, that if changed, can drastically change my life. There were many, but I picked out 3 prominent ones:

Habit 1. Procrastination

This one is my favorite. And also the most disastrous. I know the bell is ringing over my head, I realize this job needs to be done as soon as possible, but I deliberately  postpone to some other day. How convenient!

Rabindranath Tagore, the great Indian poet & a Nobel Laurette famously said

“I have spent my days
stringing and unstringing my instrument
while the song I came to sing
remains unsung.”

Procrastination is the greatest killer of opportunity. It does not let us complete our projects on schedule. Minute-by-minute, day-by-day we procrastinate, and then these days turns into months & ultimately months into years.

When I analyzed, the major reasons I found for procrastination are:

• Either I have enough time, so that it may be done later or I have No Time at all.
• Its important, but since not urgent, so why do it now?
• I don't feel like doing it (this one is the best excuse :)
• Not sure what to do

Habit 2. Being Judgemental  

 

Judge not that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you shall be judged...

I am very quick to judge others. Only to realize that 90% of the time, my judgements are proved otherwise.

I form opinions & jump to conclusions straightaway, based on limited information set I have. Without realizing that as human being our senses are fallible, our vision limited, totally unaware of the actual circumstances. Judgements are not based on facts or evidence, but on perceptions. And perceptions can be wrong. 

I honestly want to get rid of this ASAP. I have realized that in this whole process, I have lost really good people and alternatively trusted the non-trustworthy ones.

How would I feel when I think that I am being judged. Very very bad indeed. I will feel that I am

insignificant, not worthy. I may even doubt my potential as a human being. Or I may turn rebel.

So, I need to start seeing things from others' perspective, put myself into their situation & STOP being judgmental.

Habit 3. Not Listening

 

How can I say that I have the habit of Not listening, when I daily listen to my wife, my boss my friends & to everyone on this earth who can talk!!

It is because listening is different that hearing!!

Most of the time when people talk to me, I am either careless to what they are saying or if the topic is about me, I become defensive. Either of the two can't be described as listening.

When we listen with the intent to reply and not for the sake of understanding others point of view, the conversation loses its meaning.

In conclusion, diagnosing a problem is the first step towards solving it. Since I have now sorted out the problematic habits, I am determined to correct them. Wish me luck...