Simple but true...

Money-wise

What is your first reaction when you see an Audi Q7 standing just beside you at a light-point?

"See how big-people waste their money!"

"What does this man thinks of himself. Does he own the road too." you mumble...

OR

When you pass by a big bunglow!!

"10 rooms just for 4 people. How lavish life style these people have. Do they really need this much..."

"The owner must be a corrupt man, otherwise how can someone afford such a big house.huh..."

Most of you will agree. We have the tendency to label all rich as corrupt, greedy, unethical etc. etc.

Why so? Because our society & upbringing has conditioned our minds to think this way. We have spent our whole life listening to the things like:


"Money is the root of all evils"

"Money can buy food but not hunger, bed but not sleep"

"Money cannot give us happiness"

"Contentedness is happiness"  and so on...


In fact this is the theme behind so many bollywood movies.

-- Remember movie, Maine Pyar Kiya. The heroine wins the sympathy of masses as she is the daughter of a poor motor mechanic. Pity soul!! On the other hand the villainous father of the hero is a filthy rich guy.

--Take any movie of Amitabh Bacchan, and you will find him playing the role of a poor, destitute,  more often an orphan, who takes revenge from the evil rich.

Even their Hollywood counterparts are not better either.

-- Spider man is again our same poor guy and the rich one the villain

-- Harry potter, the poor guy suffers at the hands of fellow rich guys.

Our popular culture makes us to believe this:

All rich are evil, nasty, corrupt & unethical. Rich guys suck.....

THE MYTH : We are conditioned to believe that money is bad and that being broke is somehow better.

THE FACT : Money is neither good nor bad. It is neutral. In fact it is your mind, that, if not under your control, can create havoc in our like.

What you DO with the money makes all the difference.


From the time that you and I were little, our brain has been soaking up all these opinions about money and wealth, though they're completely untrue in real life. Hating the rich has become trendy. No doubt there are many rich people who have amassed huge sums by mal-practices. This is especially true in case of India where becoming rich has become synonymous with being corrupt. In India, making money & remaining honest is very difficult, if not impossible. But lamenting a whole community, just because a few people are bad, is wrong. This trend is called collectivism. Collectivism considers the community as a whole and does not take into consideration the individuals that make the community. One individual is different from another.  Not all rich are bad, and not all bad are rich. It varies from person to person.

Think about it: if your goal is to be a honest, ethical, loving, caring  and generous person......
....and you believe that having money will make you evil, mean, nasty and greedy....


Well, think again...


But what about the above maxims about money (like money is not everything). Are they invalid! Should we run after money like mad men. Should we sell our soul, our conscience to become filthy rich. Should we adopt unfair means to make quick bucks.


The answer is NO.


The maxims are valid, but only when applied within their context. Money is not everything. Agreed. But this statement does not nullify the importance of earning money, provided that you are earning money in a fair manner.

Others will bring religion into this. They will argue that most of the popular religions teach us to be contended. Yes absolutely true. But they never stop you from righteous earning. Infact Hinduism defines arth (capital) as one of the four pillars of life.

So what is the point? Simple. Money is a means is not the end. But it is also the most important means. By having money you are in a capacity to do something for others. If you are a broke, you cannot help another broke. We have to get rid of all the negative programming first, and try to see things in right perspective. We have to give us permission to be wealthy & to be wise.

In the nutshell be wise, money-wise.

That's all folks!!

3 Habits I always wanted to change

....watch your habits, for they become character.

watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

I wish I would have not been so lazy, I wish I could be more disciplined, I wish I could have been less temperamental, I wish I should not have been a compulsive talker, I wish.....

How many times do we think that  our life would be so different if we can somehow change ourselves. But most of time end up in frustration in this process. What we are & how we behave are a result of our habits. The interesting thing is that the habits are so subtle that we may not even realize that we possess them.

This is because the habits are formed slowly & gradually over a period of time & get so ingrained in our lives that we are unable to detect them.

Luckily I was able to introspect & find certain habits about myself, that if changed, can drastically change my life. There were many, but I picked out 3 prominent ones:

Habit 1. Procrastination

This one is my favorite. And also the most disastrous. I know the bell is ringing over my head, I realize this job needs to be done as soon as possible, but I deliberately  postpone to some other day. How convenient!

Rabindranath Tagore, the great Indian poet & a Nobel Laurette famously said

“I have spent my days
stringing and unstringing my instrument
while the song I came to sing
remains unsung.”

Procrastination is the greatest killer of opportunity. It does not let us complete our projects on schedule. Minute-by-minute, day-by-day we procrastinate, and then these days turns into months & ultimately months into years.

When I analyzed, the major reasons I found for procrastination are:

• Either I have enough time, so that it may be done later or I have No Time at all.
• Its important, but since not urgent, so why do it now?
• I don't feel like doing it (this one is the best excuse :)
• Not sure what to do

Habit 2. Being Judgemental  

 

Judge not that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you shall be judged...

I am very quick to judge others. Only to realize that 90% of the time, my judgements are proved otherwise.

I form opinions & jump to conclusions straightaway, based on limited information set I have. Without realizing that as human being our senses are fallible, our vision limited, totally unaware of the actual circumstances. Judgements are not based on facts or evidence, but on perceptions. And perceptions can be wrong. 

I honestly want to get rid of this ASAP. I have realized that in this whole process, I have lost really good people and alternatively trusted the non-trustworthy ones.

How would I feel when I think that I am being judged. Very very bad indeed. I will feel that I am

insignificant, not worthy. I may even doubt my potential as a human being. Or I may turn rebel.

So, I need to start seeing things from others' perspective, put myself into their situation & STOP being judgmental.

Habit 3. Not Listening

 

How can I say that I have the habit of Not listening, when I daily listen to my wife, my boss my friends & to everyone on this earth who can talk!!

It is because listening is different that hearing!!

Most of the time when people talk to me, I am either careless to what they are saying or if the topic is about me, I become defensive. Either of the two can't be described as listening.

When we listen with the intent to reply and not for the sake of understanding others point of view, the conversation loses its meaning.

In conclusion, diagnosing a problem is the first step towards solving it. Since I have now sorted out the problematic habits, I am determined to correct them. Wish me luck...

India